Barney’s Christmas List

by Christine Kling

1. Puppy Tweets – Make sure your best friend has his own place in the Twitterverse! What kind of dog owner are you if you don’t let your pooch on Twitter? Now, you can buy Fido this dog tag and your canine companion can tweet to his heart’s content.

2. Whistle – Fuelband type sensors aren’t just for people anymore. Whistle is the on-collar activity monitor that will let you check in with your pet via your smart phone. How far has he walked today? Is he staying fit? With the Whistle activity monitor you’ll know if your best friend is getting enough play time.

3. Dognition – You know your dog is just about the smartest dog on the planet, right? Well, now you can prove it. With Dognition, you can find the genius in your dog and get the data to prove it!

4. Dog DNA test – Every dog owner should know his dog’s ancestry – for all you know he might be a royal hound!

5. GPS Dog Tracker – GPS is not just for your boat anymore! Worried about your pup running into the brush on that Bahamian island and getting lost? Don’t you want to know which little neighborhood bitch your boy is visiting when he digs under the fence? Here’s your answer.

6. Bake-a-Bone – For all you dog owners who agree that you cannot own enough small appliances, here is a treat for you and your pooch. Make your own mouth-watering treats in minutes, and the package includes recipes for organic and gluten-free treats too!

7. Dog Pacer – Just because you can’t get out to go for a walk shouldn’t mean that your best friend is deprived from adequate exercise. With this doggy treadmill, you can make sure your best friend gets plenty of exercise while you kick back and watch TV.

teakdoghouse8. Traditional Teak Thai Pet House –  Want your dog to have the most zen digs in your neighborhood? Get him one of these and you’ll soon realize that his house has more teak than your boat.

Barney wants to know if you have your lists ready for Santa?

Fair winds!


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About Christine Kling

I have spent more than thirty years living on and around boats and cruising the waters of the North and South Pacific, the Atlantic, and the Caribbean. I’ve written articles and stories for many boating publications including Sailing, Cruising World, Motor Boating & Sailing, and The Tiller and the Pen. When I was married, I helped my husband build a 55-foot custom sailing yacht. After launching her, we sailed through the Panama Canal to St. Thomas in the U.S. Virgin Islands where we chartered for over two years. While in the islands, I received my 100-ton Auxiliary Sail Captains license. It was that sailing experience that led me to set my first nautical suspense novel, SURFACE TENSION (2002), on the waterfront in Fort Lauderdale. Featuring Florida female tug and salvage captain, Seychelle Sullivan, the first book was followed by CROSS CURRENT (2004) and BITTER END (2005). The fourth book in the series, WRECKERS’ KEY was released in February 2007. At the end of the 2010-11 academic year, I took the motto of this blog to heart. I quit my day job as an English professor at Broward College in Fort Lauderdale (just when they offered me tenure, I said no thanks and took early retirement). I was living the dream of full-time cruising on board my 33-foot Caliber Talespinner on my very tiny pension and whatever I made from my books having parted ways with the big publishing establishment. I self-published two books on my own: a small collection of four short stories entitled SEA BITCH: Four Tales of Nautical Noir and my first stand-alone sailing thriller set in the Caribbean, CIRCLE OF BONES. In 2012 I was offered a publishing deal with Amazon's mystery/thriller imprint Thomas&Mercer and they reissued CIRCLE OF BONES. The sequel to that book, DRAGON'S TRIANGLE came out in June 2014. And as for me, I'm no longer a singlehander on my little boat. I met Wayne Hodgins in 2013 and after a whirlwind Skype courtship, I flew to meet him in Fiji and we sailed a nearly 2000 mile passage to the Marshall Islands for our "first date." We now sail together aboard LEARNATIVITY, a 52-foot motor sailor with our family including Barney, the Yorkshire Terror and Ruby, the Wonder Dog.
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2 Responses to Barney’s Christmas List

  1. gerald dowling says:

    There is a lot of overload here Chris. I just learned why dogs want to sniff the butts of other dogs. Wish I would have known it earlier in life. You are right about Christmas gifts for your Pets. My cat Molly Peabody has on three or four occasions brought me presents. The last was alive four little pinkish feet and a long tail. She just bated it around till it had ammonia then I tried to pick up the little thing to put it back outside all two ounces of it and it attacked me. The last I saw was the tail clearing the barrister out back , and the hurt feeling on the cat’s face. My dog Punky just rolled over on her back and exposed her belly for a scratch. Now how do you buy for buddies like that?

  2. Garry says:

    That reminds me – I still haven’t received my first issue of Pethouse magazine 😉

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