I’m getting a Pacemaker!

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Lovely, isn’t she. Unfortunately, I don’t think Blue Cross would consider her a necessary life-saving device, and no, the last thing I need right now is another boat I can’t work on. All the same, when I hear ‘Pacemaker,’ it’s the above photo that comes to mind, not this:

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But yeah, it’s official. That’s what I’m getting, or some variation of it. The medication I’ve been on has helped, at first a lot, and then not so much. By late summer I had a bad feeling things were going downhill. And then the fainting episodes returned, and that nifty little Implanted Loop Recorder revealed what was going on — my slowly idling pulse had been ‘pausing.’ Translation: no heartbeat. No pulse. And when the heart stops pumping, there is no blood pressure. Gravity takes over and everything drains from the top (most times, the brain) and down. Take it from me, it’s not pleasant. I speak from experience. Too much experience.

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Can you spot what’s wrong with this picture?


I’m sure there are other things going on, but apparently, a heart pumping properly can make a big difference in your overall health. If nothing else, it’ll keep me alive, which I’ve kind of grown accustomed to. And some fresh oxygen to the brain on a regular basis would be nice. It’s difficult to concentrate without it, and that kind of stops you from getting things like books and boats done. Every time my heart pauses, so does my life. I want to hit the PLAY button, damnit!

It’d be an understatement to say the last few weeks have been bumpy ones, and I suspect the weeks ahead will be as well. I’m back on the ‘no drive/walk on floating things/do much of anything’ list once again, and next Wednesday I’ll be getting a nifty new high-tech upgrade implanted, with wires snaked through arteries and anchored into my heart. Sounds uncomfortable, but necessary. I’ll have a device that must be guarded against unseen magnetic and radio interference. It’ll set off store alarm systems, and I’ve read I should keep circular saws and other power tools at least six inches from my chest — which I consider a good policy, implant or otherwise. And I’m still not sure how I feel about the concept of a lifetime warranty. But I do know one thing — I’ll be getting one seriously cool scar!

Anyhow, I’ll be climbing the walls for the next few days, waiting, and by this time next week I should be all wired up and officially part of the cyborg uprising.

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One Response to I’m getting a Pacemaker!

  1. Garry says:

    A good friend said he felt better than he had in years after his pacemaker implant. Good blood flow does seem to have a positive effect. 😉
    Best wishes!

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